Antidepressants and me (Part 3)

To my regular readers, my apologies for not posting last week.

Part 1
Part 2

In late 2009, as described in this post, I went through a bad bout of depression that I thought would be temporary.

But in the weeks that followed, the black dog kept on returning.

Life didn’t grind to a halt…but there were more and more shitty moments, and especially on weekends it became harder and harder to get out of bed.

Finally, after I couldn’t stand it anymore, I told my psychiatrist.

He said that it sounded like a change in my brain chemistry was happening, and that the mild Prozac was no longer working in its present dosage. This was not unusual – as he had told me and as I’d read elsewhere, many people who use antidepressants have to change dosages and types throughout their lives as their body chemistry keeps on readjusting.

So, my psychiatrist suggested that we increase my Prozac dosage to two capsules a day.

I agreed to give it a try. Having to double my intake was a bummer, but if it made me better as a result that was the price to pay.

My psychiatrist made a call to the local Medicare office to advise them of my new prescription, and while providing details he said two words that unintentionally were a major downer indeed.

Back in mid-2007, I’d been diagnosed as suffering from “moderate depression”.

Now, though, as my psychiatrist explained to Medicare, I was suffering from “major depression”.

*

As I had two years before, I gave myself a month for my body to adjust to my increased dosage of Prozac.

Those four weeks passed, and during that time the black dog kept returning.

I have to admit that hearing “major depression” nagged at me for the first week or so, and gave the black dog a helping hand.

But I kept reminding myself to stay calm, be patient and to remember my Eckhart Tolle and my credo that had been such a big help since mid-2007.

And after that month passed, I began feeling much better again.

*

2009 became 2010.

Early that year, I went on a life-changing series of work-related visits to Melbourne that I enjoyed very much and showed me how much I’d grown and improved.

Halfway through the year, I had a crazy idea – and one night a month later, I finally bit the bullet and began this blog, which has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve done for myself.

In September, while back in Melbourne on holiday, I had a very tense experience but fortunately I kept my cool and helped someone in need.

2010 was a big year in my life, and I was pleased and relieved that I was able to meet its challenges.

*

2010 became 2011, and at first life continued to go well.

And then a few months in, the black dog began to return.

And kept returning, just like it had in late 2009.

Something had changed again.

*

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

POSTSCRIPT
Just in (pun unintended) from WordPress Stats:

Part 4
Part 5

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About blackandblueman

Black and Blue Man lives in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
This entry was posted in Action, Depression, Hope, Life Challenges, Life is Good, My Story, Resilience. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Antidepressants and me (Part 3)

  1. imnobody says:

    As a man who has had depression on and off and has reluctantly taken antidepressants, you got me hooked on this series. Thank you for sharing. I will await your next installment.

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