2012: A Canberra Odyssey (Part 1)

Wednesday, 29 February 2012.

I was involved in three separate big-arse projects at work.

I was also helping to fill in for a colleague who two weeks before had just begun five months’ leave.

As well, earlier that day I had agreed to format a large document by COB Friday.

That evening, I got a call from my manager.

A technical writer was required urgently for an important project with an Australian Government client.

The writer was required onsite down in Canberra next week and very likely the week after as well.

My manager knew that I was very busy, but I was the only member of our team with clearance to work on documentation for that government department.

What did I think?

I thought very quickly.

*

Canberra. One of my favourite places in the world, with fine establishments such as King O’Malley’s, Happy’s Chinese Restaurant and Clouston & Hall Booksellers.

One, maybe two weeks staying in a hotel…or maybe even more weeks, as previous experience had demonstrated.

Like back in early 2010 when what was originally thought to be just one visit to Melbourne became the first of eight during the next two months.

And a year before that in Canberra itself in 2009 when what were originally thought to be only a few visits became the first of eight, including the final visit of four planned days that blew out to nine.

And as well during that visit, as I described in this post, I not only put behind me several demons from my distant and recent past but I also discovered just how much better I’d gotten as a person thanks to my medication and therapy since mid-2007.

And as a result, that 2009 Canberra experience will always be remembered as one of the most rewarding of my life.

*

I told my manager that, yes, I’d go.

Soon after we finished speaking on the ‘phone, I started planning for what most likely and could possibly lie ahead.

Another odyssey had just begun.

And although it would be much shorter than my 2009 odyssey, it would be just as memorable in its own ways.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Stop Press 4/4/2012
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Posted in Hope, Inspiration, Life Challenges | 1 Comment

Again, one does not simply walk into Clouston & Hall Booksellers (Part 3)

Part 1
Part 2

Shortly after my second failed attempt to dine at Happy’s Chinese Restaurant, I went past the equally-packed King O’Malley’s and soon arrived at the local Pancake Parlour.

Fortunately, the Pancake Parlour wasn’t packed, and I had a nice comfort-food dinner.

Despite all those new books that I now had on my person, while dining I took out the Kindle and re-read some of Bill Pronzini’s classic and hilarious survey of bad mystery fiction, Gun In Cheek (a book that I had first enjoyed back in the early 2000s, and had recently found as an ebook at Amazon for only $3.99).

After dinner I returned to my hotel room, and for the next several hours I indulged in a luxury for the first time during my work-visit in Canberra – staying up until my regular bedtime of 2am.

I went to bed tired and happy, especially as I wouldn’t have to wake up to an alarm, and soon fell asleep.

*

Some time later I woke up needing to urinate badly, saw that it was still dark outside, went to the toilet and returned to bed.

The next time I woke up, it was light outside, but I turned away from my window over Northbourne Avenue and soon fell asleep again.

I woke up two or three more times, and went back to sleep two or three more times.

Finally, I awoke again to another alarm from my bladder, and after I returned from the bathroom I turned on my iPhone to see what time it was, thinking that perhaps it was late morning or even around noon…

It was 1:45pm.

I said a Keanu-like “Whoah!” and decided to stay up.

*

With most of Saturday’s business hours now gone and Happy’s opening in just three hours’ time, I was disappointed that there would be no lazy afternoon at King O’Malley’s…

…but very soon while doing my first surfing for the day, I realised that it was St. Patrick’s Day.

So there would have been no lazy afternoon at King O’Malley’s, to be sure.

*

At around 3:30pm, I finally dragged myself outdoors to go shopping for a second suitcase to carry last night’s booty.

For the next hour I looked around the rest of Canberra Centre, but eventually I returned to Strandbags and got myself a brand new bag there for a good price.

Next, with still about 20 minutes to kill before Happy’s opened, I went a few doors down to AllBooks4Less and returned to a couple of titles I had spotted last night but had decided to give more thought to before possibly buying them today…

…and then I spotted a few other titles I had somehow missed…

…and later that night when I took the spectacular photographs featured in Part 2 and below, I had a third pile to add to my growing collection of Canberra-bought books:

This was the cheapest pile at $25, although if I had bought them at regular Australian retail prices of $20-$60 per book…

*

Not long after 5pm, I went back down that narrow flight of stairs to Happy’s.

And with a suitcase, after all.

Tonight, though, I was the first customer.

And about two hours or so later, I walked back up those stairs to Garema Place feeling very full and happy indeed.

It had been a short yet very rewarding Saturday in Civic.

*

During the rest of my stay in Canberra, I would buy one more book – and although I could have bought it as an ebook for $14, QBD Books at Woden had Starman: The Definitive Biography Of David Bowie reduced to only $7.99, so why not.

At the same time while in the national capital, I was still feeding my Kindle – which included buying another biography called Starman, although that one is about Yuri Gargarin and was only $4.62 (and I first read it book form about a decade ago, but it was a good read so why not again).

And I would also take a punt with using my Kindle in a new way.

But all of that is getting ahead of both myself and yet another series I plan to start next week that takes an overall look at my recent stay in Canberra and the significance it had for my past, present and future.

And in late April there will be a post celebrating another important anniversary from last year, which is connected to Valentine’s Day 2011 but in a very good way.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Action, Bibliophilia, Happiness, Life is Good, Life Strategies | Leave a comment

Again, one does not simply walk into Clouston & Hall Booksellers (Part 2)

Part 1

Friday, 16 March, 2012.

My second week of working in Canberra had come to an end. Like the first week, it had been demanding and at times grueling, but rewarding.

I had been asked to stay a third week, which didn’t bother me, and so instead of going home for the weekend I had decided to stay in Canberra again.

To make that stay even more exciting, I would be spending tonight and tomorrow night at the Novotel Canberra right in Civic.

And not only was Friday night late-night-shopping night in Canberra, it meant that Clouston & Hall Booksellers would be within easy walking reach.

The treat I had been planning for myself since last weekend was looking better and better.

*

Shortly after 5pm, I finished work at my client’s office down in Woden.

I grabbed my luggage and hefted it to the Woden Bus Interchange.

Less than 20 minutes later, I was in Civic.

I checked in at the Novotel Canberra, went to my room, unpacked and assembled my gear for the raid on Clouston & Hall.

I considered taking my empty wheeled suitcase because of the expected big load of heavy books, but in the end I considered it too clumsy, especially for where I was planning to have dinner beforehand.

In the end, I decided to rely on my two Woolworths Cool Bags – blue canvas insulated shopping bags with zipped covers that are primarily designed for refrigerated groceries, but which I have found very useful for shopping in general.

I flattened and folded the Cool Bags, tucked them into my backpack and left the hotel.

*

My original plan was to first have dinner at the landmark Happy’s Chinese Restaurant and then take a short walk across Garema Place to Clouston & Hall.

It was just after 6pm, though, and I feared that Happy’s would be packed – not only because it was Friday night in Civic, but because of what I’d previously witnessed there. Before, I’d always gotten to Happy’s just after 5pm when it opened and I was often the first customer that night – but even by 6pm it was amazing to see how quickly it filled up.

And sure enough, when I got myself down that narrow flight of stairs to the lower-ground floor where Happy’s resides, I saw and was informed by staff that all tables were full.

I was disappointed – but I could return later when the crowd of diners had died down, so with hope in my heart I went back up that narrow flight of stairs to Garema Place (those stairs were why I had decided not to bring my suitcase with me).

*

Outside the ground-level entrance to Happy’s, I looked across at Clouston & Hall…

…but I decided that I should hold off going there for now, as I wanted to give myself some time before returning to Happy’s, and perhaps lugging around two Cool Bags stuffed with heavy books for the next hour wasn’t very inviting.

So instead, to kill some time, I decided to check out the nearby Canberra Centre

*

…where a few minutes later I laughed to myself as I made an unexpected discovery.

Canberra Centre used to have a large Borders.

Now it’s a large AllBooks4Less.

And almost all of its books, regardless of shape and size, are only $5 each.

*

About an hour or so later, I re-emerged from AllBooks4Less.

One of my Cool Bags was filled with nine books that had set me back $45, although if I had bought them at regular Australian retail prices of $20-$30 per book…

Here are seven of them (the other two are extra copies of one title I have bought as gifts for two friends):

There were a few other titles I had considered, but I decided to give them some more thought and perhaps return to get them the next day.

As well, I now had something else to think about perhaps buying, especially as I still hadn’t gotten to Clouston & Hall yet.

I had checked in to the Novotel Canberra with a suitcase and both Cool Bags packed to the brim with both my gear from home and a good amount of fud and drink left over from Woden.

For my return to Woden on Sunday afternoon, and even with some of that fud and drink gone by then, there would definitely be no room for my book purchases – and of course I would have to eventually return home to Sydney.

So, another suitcase would be necessary.

Fortunately, a few doors away from AllBooks4Less was a Strandbags, and a few minutes later I found that as always they had some amazing specials that I mentally filed away.

Next, I checked out a nearby Big W to see if they had anything similar or even cheaper, but they didn’t.

I could have ventured further to the nearby Myer and David Jones as well, but I decided that that could wait until tomorrow.

Instead, I left Canberra Centre and crossed Bunda Street to finally walk into Clouston & Hall.

*

A few minutes later, I took out my notepad and flipped it open to the list I’d made the weekend before.

Next, I unfolded my second Cool Bag.

And then I went to work.

I followed my list around Clouston & Hall to where I’d remembered, or thought I’d remembered, the locations of the books I’d listed that weren’t available as ebooks from Amazon.

Some of those books had been moved, one I didn’t re-find, and there were a few that I reconsidered and decided not to get after all…

…but in the end I made my way to the counter with my second Cool Bag filled with the following titles:

This pile set me back $177.50, although if I had bought them at regular Australian retail prices of $30-$60 per book…

I paid my cash, the shopkeeper wished me a happy weekend of reading and I walked out of Clouston & Hall with my two Cool Bags filled heavily with books.

*

It was now around 8pm.

Night had now fallen, and Garema Place was still lively.

I headed back over to the ground-level entrance to Happy’s and went back down that narrow flight of stairs…

…to find that Happy’s was still full, and to be told that it was “take-away only”.

Ah, well. As an (in)famous Anglo-Australian once sang, you can’t always get what you want.

I headed back up that narrow flight of stairs to Garema Place, began thinking about other dinner options, and headed off.

But I wasn’t sad, because I knew that I would definitely be returning tomorrow for another suitcase and so I could be at Happy’s just after 5pm when it first opened.

As well, even long before dinner at Happy’s tomorrow, I could get myself to nearby King O’Malley’s for lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon there unwinding with a jug of diet cola, and perhaps also writing my next post for Black and Blue Man, until Happy’s opened.

I smiled as I already looked forward to tomorrow, forgetting what 17 March meant at an Irish-themed pub…

…and until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Action, Bibliophilia, Happiness, Life is Good, Life Strategies | Leave a comment

Again, one does not simply walk into Clouston & Hall Booksellers (Part 1)

My previous walk

Saturday, 10 March, 2012.

After a week of very erratic weather, ranging from summer-like heat to winter-like cold and including heavy storms, it was a great day here in Canberra.

I’d been here a week for an urgent work assignment. It had been demanding – mentally, and having to fit my insomniac and night-owl self into a 9-5 routine – but rewarding.

I had been very much looking forward to today as a sabbath, and originally I had planned to do nothing more than stay in my hotel room and relax in four-star luxury…

…but it was such a great day outside, and as the morning went by it seemed a waste not to do something more.

Finally, not long after noon, I decided to seize the rest of the day.

After all, the weather could turn crappy again tomorrow.

And Monday was also a public holiday, so there were two more opportunities to take it very easy.

*

Less than 15 minutes later, I did something I hadn’t done for hundreds of years since my University of Canberra days back in the late ’80s and early ’90s – got on an ACTION bus.

And less than 15 minutes after that, after a scenic express ride past some of the Australian Government’s corridors of power, I stepped off at the City Bus Station in Civic.

It was still a great day, and I smiled as I looked at nearby King O’Malley’s. I wasn’t hungry, but one of my favourite visiting places in Canberra was still bustling with a late lunch crowd and it looked very pleasant and welcoming.

There would certainly be time for King O’Malley’s later, though.

I walked into the part of Garema Place where three years earlier I’d had a very cathartic moment, and a few minutes later I stepped inside another establishment I always like to visit whenever I’m in Canberra – Clouston & Hall Booksellers.

*

About an hour and a half later, I re-emerged from Clouston & Hall.

I crossed back over Garema to King O’Malley’s, which was still quite lively, and went inside.

I grabbed a jug of diet cola, found a table in a cozy and secluded corner, poured myself the first of several glasses, and went to work.

First, I took out my notepad and opened it to the two-and-a-half pages of book titles I’d written while in Clouston & Hall.

Second, I took out my iPhone and went to Amazon.

Finally, I went down my notepad’s list, checked to see how many of those titles were available as ebooks, and added them to my Amazon Wish List.

And unlike the last time I’d done this exercise in King O’Malley’s, I was excited to find that most of the titles that I’d recorded were also available in ebook format.

It had been a very successful scouting mission indeed.

But that wasn’t all.

There were still 14 titles I’d written down that weren’t available in ebook format.

And my next payday is only a few days away.

I have another week left in Canberra, and the coach terminal from where I’ll be returning to Sydney is a short walk from Clouston & Hall.

And about halfway along that route is King O’Malley’s.

So, I have another day here in Canberra to very much look forward to, and even if the weather sucks that day it will still be great.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Action, Bibliophilia, Happiness, Life is Good, Life Strategies | 2 Comments

Therapy Laffs II

Thursday, 24 February 2012, approaching 4:30pm.

Another session with my psychiatrist was coming to an end.

I’d told him several things about the past week, and it had been good to get it out of my system.

Now, though, it was time to physically unwind, and as I sat there across the coffee table from him I decided to do some breathing and closed my eyes.

Inhale from the belly…one, two, three, four…and exhale…

Inhale from the belly…one, two, three, four…and exhale…

Inhale from the belly…one, two, three, four…and exhale…

And so on.

Soon, I began to feel very calm and relaxed.

My psychiatrist sat there quietly, as he always does when I unwind like this.

Inhale from the belly…one, two, three, four…and exhale…

I continued to feel better overall, and having my eyes closed heightened my other senses, especially my hearing.

Inhale from the belly…one, two, three, four…and exhale…

Bliss.

Calm.

Serenity –

– and then suddenly my psychiatrist’s telephone rang, less than a metre away on his nearby desk.

But in my current state of darkness with my heightened hearing, it didn’t just ring.

It exploded.

And as you may recall from my previous entry in this series, I startle very easily.

My eyes flew open and my arms flew out.

And my whole body launched from my seat, several centimetres into the air.

As I came back down, I saw that my psychiatrist was already smiling – not malevolently, but very amused.

I didn’t begrudge him that, though, because in his situation I would have done the same thing.

I apologised for my over-reaction, but he kept smiling and reassured me that there was nothing to be sorry for.

I settled back into my chair as much as I could in my sudden new wide-awake state. Which wasn’t much.

But 10 minutes later, after our session had ended, I made the next train to the city in no time.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Having a Laugh, Life is Good, My Story, Therapy, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Poor Man, Rich Man (a new series and category)

Dunce Cap (modified) - fotosearch.com

There’s a small IKEA storage container that sits on the bottom shelf of the freezer in my fridge.

That container holds six dead relics from an 18-year chapter of my life that came to an end on Monday 14 February 2011.

It was about a week after Valentine’s Day last year when I filled the container and put it in my freezer.

Soon after that when I saw my psychiatrist again, I told him about the container and he suggested that I get rid of those relics.

At first, I refused and explained that seeing that container every time I went into my freezer was important to me, because it was a daily reminder to never again do what I had done so disastrously for most of my adult life.

My psychiatrist acknowledged that, but advised that it would be better to just get rid of those relics to truly show to myself that I was moving on with a new phase in my life.

I saw his point and gave it some thought, but ultimately I decided to keep those relics in my freezer.

Several times a day I go into my freezer because I like having ice-filled drinks. Sometimes I don’t notice the container, but other times I do and it always serves its purpose.

*

From 1993 to Valentine’s Day 2011, I was a compulsive debtor, spender and under-earner who ultimately ran up a six-figure debt from abusing and misusing the six inactive credit cards that are now in my freezer.

Thanks to that foolishness, ignorance, recklessness and stupidity, by September 2010 I was facing final disaster.

For the rest of the year, I took several steps to finally face up to my mistakes – but not only was it too little and too late, I also became overwhelmed with fear. I stopped answering my ‘phone and even checking my voicemails; I stayed away from my post-office box for almost a month; and every day I wondered what the fucking hell was going to happen to my life.

A few days before Christmas 2010, I unexpectedly found the answer.

A few weeks later into the new year of 2011, I did what I had to do with the assistance of some very helpful and kind people.

And on Monday 14 February 2011, two weeks after I had submitted my paperwork, the Australian Government officially declared that I was a voluntary bankrupt…

…although I didn’t find out about this until a week later, when I was advised over the ‘phone by the accounting firm that had kindly taken on my case. They had also only found out that same day.

I can’t remember whether it was me or the caller who made a wisecrack about the slow-moving wheels of government bureaucracy, and we both had a little laugh.

*

As I mentioned in my previous post, for a long time I was very reluctant to mention my bankruptcy here at Black and Blue Man. One reason was painful memories; another was shame; and another reason was that I thought it was something as big as my depression and OCD that required a separate blog of its own.

A few times, I almost began that separate blog I was going to call Poor Man, Rich Man…

…but recently, I decided to grit my teeth and finally start writing about my bankruptcy here.

After all, it’s much less hassle maintaining one blog rather than two.

*

So why am I writing about my bankruptcy, and what’s the meaning of Poor Man, Rich Man?

Firstly, as I’ve found with blogging about my depression and OCD, it’s a way of sharing my experiences with others so that we can help and learn from each other. As well, writing down my experiences has been very therapeutic and thought-provoking.

Secondly, ‘Poor Man’ describes who I was up to until Valentine’s Day 2011 – someone very poor in financial thinking who came very close to ruining their life because they should have known and done better years ago.

As for ‘Rich Man’, that describes what life has been like since Valentine’s Day 2011, but not because I have more money in my life.

Thanks to the Australian Government, I have been given a second chance to get my financial shit together and truly appreciate the value of money.

And despite a few hiccups along the way like dumbly leaving myself in the lurch during ‘The Longest Day’, what I have been learning and applying has made the past 12 months one of the most remarkable years of my life thus far.

*

Poor Man, Rich Man posts will appear here on an irregular basis, while depression and OCD will continue to be the main focus of Black and Blue Man.

Is my bankruptcy connected to my mental health problems? Yes and no, as I will explain in future posts.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Action, Gratitude, Happiness, Life Challenges, Life Strategies, My Story, Pain, Poor Man Rich Man | 3 Comments

The Longest Day (Epilogue)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

There are several things I’ve gained from my first experience with major dental pain.

First, as advised by my dentist, I now floss my teeth at least once a day. Previously, I’d never flossed because thanks to never having any dental trouble, I thought it was unnecessary – but now it’s an extra precaution I’m willing to take.

Second, I always now have extra-strength painkillers at home and in my backpack.

Third, thanks to what I’ve learned during the past few years, I’ve become more calm and pro-active. Although parts of my experience were excruciating, frightening and maddening, I was able to mostly keep my head, assess what could be done, and take action – and even if that action didn’t do much or nothing at all, it was better to try than not attempt anything at all.

And finally, there’s the biggest lesson I learned that day.

*

Just over a year ago, I posted ‘The 10-Year Plan’ in which I outlined what I’d like to achieve with my life in 10 years’ time, when I’m 50.

One of my objectives is to “get my financial house in order”, which includes saving money and to stop living from pay to pay.

For most of 2011 after I posted ‘The 10-Year Plan’, I did make some progress with changing my financial thinking, and life did get better as a result…

…but I still have a lot to learn, especially that living from pay to pay and not having emergency funds is dangerous and reckless, and leaves me at the mercy of others.

I have been aware of that fact for some time, but my longest day really made me appreciate it.

*

When I was first drafting this post and I went back to The 10-Year Plan, I was stunned when I saw the date I’d published it – 6 February 2011.

Not only is that over a year ago – already?!? – but it’s also eight days before one of the most important dates in my life thus far.

Yes, Valentine’s Day 2011 – but what happened on that day had nothing to do with love or sex.

It’s part of a story that previously I was very reluctant to tell here, and several times I considered a separate blog for it – but after much thought and some discussion with my psychiatrist, from next week that story will become an ongoing part of Black and Blue Man.

Until then, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Inspiration, Life Challenges, Life Strategies, My Story, Something to Think About | 1 Comment

The Longest Day (Part 4)

'In Time' - http://in-time-movie-trailer.blogspot.com.au/

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The final six hours – Tuesday 8 November 8pm to Wednesday 9 November 2am
My friend and I got to the cinema with plenty of time before In Time and took our assigned seats.

I settled in and arranged at hand what I’d need throughout the movie – my fud and drink, my moist wipes to keep my hands clean and a small plastic bag for my rubbish.

A few minutes later, the session began.

A few ads and previews played, and then In Time began.

And about 10-15 minutes after that, the demon Dental Pain returned.

Once again, that ice-pick stabbed back into my gum and did its Chubby Checker impersonation.

Oh, for crying out loud…

I didn’t, though, because I didn’t want to annoy my friend.

So I decided to bear it in silence, and not only did I grit my teeth for the next 90 minutes or so I tried other ways repeatedly to manage or obliterate that pain.

Like resting my right jaw upon my right hand and pushing up as hard as I could.

And taking big mouthfuls of water and rinsing furiously.

And pushing my whole body back into my chair as hard as I could.

And hoping that In Time would become compelling and involving enough that I could completely lose myself within it and forget about that fucking ache in my mouth.

Alas, In Time was only so-so, a film with an interesting premise that was delivered with half-arsed execution.

And although the aching never got worse despite my desperate measures against it, Dental Pain stayed until the end of the film.

Fucking bastard.

*

In Time ended, my friend and I parted, and I got home not long before midnight.

I showered, sat down at the PC and went online until I felt tired enough to go to bed.

I also hoped that Dental Pain wouldn’t return then, and fortunately it didn’t…

…but what if it did while I was sleeping?

I decided to risk taking some of the sleeping medication that I get every now and then from my psychiatrist. Sometimes it works spectacularly, like giving me eight hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep – but sometimes it fails just as spectacularly, like giving me not even four hours of sleep.

Still, it was worth a try.

Finally at around 2am, I started nodding off.

I hauled myself up the ladder to my loft-bed, turned on the desk-fan at the head of my bed and snuggled in under my quilt.

As the wonderful cool air from the fan blew gently over me, I closed my eyes and hoped that sleep would arrive soon and take me safe and sound until daylight.

Soon, I drifted off.

The next day
About eight uninterrupted hours later, I woke up feeling absolutely wonderful.

I got up by going back down my bed’s ladder, and did a few hours’ work while still feeling wonderful.

Late that afternoon, I headed out to attend my regular Wednesday-night pub-trivia game with another friend – and, most important of all, visit my local chemist on the way.

Believe it or not, that very day my chemist was having a store-wide sale where everything was 20% off…

…and when I asked a sales assistant about what to get, she sympathised because she had suffered similarly in the past, expertly showed me exactly what I needed and pleasantly wished me all the best…

…and when I went to the chief pharmacist to finally get some extra-strength painkillers, he recommended a cheap generic brand.

The best was still to come, however, about an hour or so later.

*

At the pub, while I was waiting for my dinner to arrive, Dental Pain returned yet again.

I took two of the painkillers.

Five minutes later, Dental Pain vanished. Completely.

And the steak I had that night was one of the best I’d ever had.

By meal’s end, I felt even more wonderful.

It was great to be alive again.

*

About a month later, Dental Pain returned with the ice-pick for another long day.

I may give that sequel its own post…but then again, in my planned epilogue to this series, I may just include it in brief.

Until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

Posted in Anger, Gratitude, Happiness, Life Challenges, Life is Good, My Story, Pain | 2 Comments

The Longest Day (Part 3)

Part 1
Part 2

The next 12 hours – Tuesday 8 November 8am to Tuesday 8 November 8pm
I got to the dental clinic just after 9:30am.

I asked at reception how soon I could see a dentist, please.

They checked, and said that the earliest they could fit me in was 4pm.

Without hesitation, I said that would be fine, thank you.

I got a neat little printout to confirm my appointment, and left.

*

4pm, just over six hours away.

I could go home, do some work, maybe even be able to nap and come back into the clinic…

…or I could walk to a busy drop-in centre that my employer had less than 10 minutes away, hope that I could find an empty desk there, and work up until 4pm or so.

I had food at home, and at that moment not even one dollar on me, but at that moment the idea of any meals before 4pm was very unappealing. As well, at the drop-in centre I would still have unlimited access to water…and maybe even some soft drink I’d perhaps left there in one of the fridges from when I’d spent a lot of time there during the first half of the year.

Having access to a bed was also a very good reason to return home – but I’d waste an hour walking home and later having to come back into the CBD; being able to nap seemed like a remote possibility anyway; and worst of all I’d be isolated with my aching and irritated self.

Finally, maybe going to the drop-in centre and having nothing else to work to focus on would be the best way to take my mind off of my aching mouth.

I headed off to the drop-in centre.

*

10am.

There were no work-desks available at the drop-in centre, but previously I’d used a table in one of the kitchen areas that was next to a powerpoint. It was empty, so I set up base there.

As well, I found that in one of the fridges that from a few months ago I still had a full one-litre bottle of chilled water, and about half of a 1.25-litre bottle of Pepsi Max.

The Pepsi Max had gone a little flat, but it would certainly do.

Also, I checked online banking via my iPhone yet again, and although my pay still wasn’t in yet it could still appear at any time within the next hour, or two, or three, I hoped.

I got to work. Fortunately, it was the type of bulk straight-forward formatting that my OCD self finds relaxing and rewarding, and it took my mind off of my pain for the next couple of hours.

*

Just after noon, I started getting very sleepy.

Shit.

I kept on working for a few minutes more in the hope that it would wake me up, but my eyes kept on closing while my head kept on nodding up and down.

Shit again.

I stopped working, just sat there and closed my eyes. Some rest was better than none.

Every so often – or so it felt – I’d snap back awake, but I told myself to relax, closed my eyes and rested again.

After several rounds of this, I opened my eyes, felt a little better and wondered how long I’d dozed off for…

The clock on my notebook told me that not even 10 minutes had gone by.

I sighed, silently cursed my pain (especially as two colleagues were having a very involved and important-sounding discussion at a nearby table), and went back to work.

*

At around 1pm, my pain flared up again and not even my work could distract me from it.

I decided to go for a walk and some window-shopping – and if my pay did come in and I was hungry, I could treat myself to lunch.

I went outside. It was stinking hot but otherwise a good day for walking around some of the CBD…

…except that the pain alternated between a dull ache and feeling like someone had stabbed an ice-pick into my jaw and was giving it a fucking good twist.

For the next hour or so, I walked and window-shopped and tried to ignore my pain as much as I could, which was only about half the time.

I checked online banking two more times. Still no pay – but fortunately, I still wasn’t hungry at all.

*

Just after 2pm the pain finally went away, so I returned to the drop-in centre, got back to work, and hoped that time would fly past for the next two hours or so.

Fortunately, it did until just after 3:30pm when I packed up and left for the dental centre.

*

A good thing about getting to the dental centre by 3:45pm was that it gave me enough time to complete some paperwork that a receptionist handed me.

A not-so-good thing, though, was noticing for the first time the sign sitting on the reception counter that said it would be “appreciated” if all visitors could settle their bills at completion of their appointments.

I checked online banking yet again. Still nothing.

A few minutes later, my name was called and I went off to have my problem resolved.

I hoped.

*

First, my big $1000 filling from late last year was pressing against a nerve-end, and so it was removed and replaced with a much smaller filling that also contained antibiotics.

Second, the nerve-end had died and withered, which meant that I had root-canal to look forward to in the future – but that wouldn’t be until after 22 July 2012, when my health fund would be able to cover it.

Third, I had to come back early next week for another check-up.

Fourth, the dentist who repaired my mouth recommended that from now on I should floss once a day, and advised that if the pain returned I could blunt it with non-prescription extra-strength painkillers available from any chemist.

Finally, she handed me my bill to be settled at reception. Thanks to being in the health fund, it would only cost me about a third of what I’d be paying elsewhere…

…but had my pay arrived yet?

*

A few minutes later out at reception, with not long to go until 5pm, I handed over my bill and checked online banking.

At long last, my pay had arrived.

As well, reception had EFTPOS.

I settled my bill and left.

The bottom-right part of my face blissfully felt like it wasn’t there.

And it was my weekly movie-night with a friend, whom I was due to meet in an hour for dinner.

Life was good once again.

*

I went to an ATM and got some cash, which felt like winning a lottery.

Next, I went to a supermarket and got some snack fud and drink for the movie. I didn’t know if I’d even be able to eat and drink it yet, especially as I still hadn’t dinner, but it never hurts to be prepared – and if not tonight, I could eat and drink it some other time.

After that, I went to the cinema and was able to get to get tickets for myself and my friend to the session we wanted for In Time, which looked so-so – but at least my friend and I would be seeing it in a VMAX session with big comfortable seats and not being squeezed in with strangers.

Last but not least, I went to the bar where my friend and I mostly have dinner on movie nights. I got myself a jug of diet cola and a jug of chilled water, settled in at our usual table and relaxed while I waited for my friend to arrive.

A moment later, I realised that in all that post-dental centre excitement of getting back into my regular Tuesday-night routine, I had forgotten to buy some extra-strength painkillers from a chemist.

The bottom-right part of face was still wonderfully numb, however, and the dentist had told me that it would take a few hours to wear off.

I mentally shrugged, hoped that I would be okay and returned to enjoying my diet cola and water.

Life was getting better.

*

Soon, my friend arrived.

We ordered dinner, and as my dentist had recommended I used the left side of my mouth to eat my steak with mashed potato, steamed vegetables and garlic bread. Apart from a sudden but brief flash of pain when a steamed vegetable brushed the side of my repaired tooth, it was a wonderful and reinvigorating meal indeed.

A couple of relaxing hours passed, and after 8pm we left to go to the cinema.

Life was getting even better.

*

But my longest day still had another six hours to go…

*

And until next time, stay well and take care 🙂

*

POSTSCRIPT 15/1/2012
Just in from WordPress Stats:

Posted in Anger, Life Challenges, My Story, Pain | 3 Comments

Brief announcement

I am holidaying interstate with family and friends up until New Year’s Eve, so from now until then I am unsure when I will be posting here next.

Until then, stay well, take care and if you celebrate it, Merry Christmas 🙂

Posted in Gratitude, Happiness, Having a Laugh, Life is Good | Leave a comment